Do soulmates look alike?

Do couples really look alike?

On average, they do. The clearest evidence is a 2020 study in Scientific Reports by Pin Pin Tea-makorn and Michal Kosinski of Stanford University. They collected photos of 517 couples, taken within two years of each wedding and again 20 to 69 years later.

Both human judges and a facial recognition algorithm rated how similar the faces were. Spouses looked more alike than random pairs of people, and they already looked alike in the earliest photos.

Do couples grow to look alike over time?

This is the part most people have heard, and the evidence does not support it. The idea comes from a 1987 study led by the psychologist Robert Zajonc, which reported that spouses’ faces had become more similar after years of marriage.

The 2020 study tested the same question with a far larger set of photos and found no such change. Couples who had been married for decades were no more alike than they were around the time they married. People choose partners who resemble them. They do not grow into the resemblance.

Why do partners resemble each other?

• We pair with people like us. A 2023 study in Nature Human Behaviour found that partners were more likely than not to be similar on 82% to 89% of the traits analyzed, including education and political and religious attitudes. People who share a background often share features too.
• Familiar faces feel right. Psychologists have long observed that people warm to what is familiar, an effect known as mere exposure. A face that echoes the ones you grew up around can feel trustworthy before you know why.
• Couples often share a style. Similar haircuts, glasses, clothes and expressions can make two people look more alike in a photo than their features alone would.

Does your soulmate have to look like you?

No. The research describes an average across hundreds of couples, and plenty of happy couples look nothing alike. Resemblance tells you about how people tend to choose. It says nothing about whether a particular relationship will last.

It also cuts the other way. Looking like someone does not make them your soulmate, so it is not worth reading much into a likeness.

Do soulmates look like siblings?

People sometimes say a couple could pass for brother and sister. That is the same effect seen from the outside: partners who share ancestry, coloring and style can look related. It is common, and it does not mean anything about the relationship.

Do soulmates have the same birthmark or moles?

A popular belief says soulmates carry matching birthmarks or moles in the same place. There is no evidence for it. Birthmarks and moles are very common, so two people sharing one in a similar spot is not unusual.

What about matching moon phases?

A social media trend has people look up the moon phase on each partner’s date of birth and overlay the two images to see whether they fit together into a full moon. It is a sweet game to play with someone. The moon’s phase on the day you were born has no known link to compatibility.

What does this mean for picturing your soulmate?

If you are wondering what a future partner will look like, the research gives a modest hint: they may share some of your coloring and background, and they may not match the type you imagine. We go through the other ways people picture a partner in what will my soulmate look like?

A soulmate sketch is another way to put a face to the question. It is a portrait of the person pictured as your ideal match, made from the answers you give and delivered with a written Soulmate Story. It is for enjoyment and reflection, not a prediction. You can see soulmate sketch examples from real orders first.

Wondering about timing instead? See the signs your soulmate is coming or try the when will I meet my soulmate calculator.

Sources: Tea-makorn and Kosinski, Scientific Reports, 2020 (Stanford summary). Zajonc and colleagues, Motivation and Emotion, 1987. Horwitz and colleagues, Nature Human Behaviour, 2023.